dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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