I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
