i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
