I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
