u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize