Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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