So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
