Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
