Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
