I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
