I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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