I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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