So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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