Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
it's like iHOP with fire
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
