Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
