the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
