im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize