how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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