New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize