I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
