lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
