I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
