I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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