She is in my trunk
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize