Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
