I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
