Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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