But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
