i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
