doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
