hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
