I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
