she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
