I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
