I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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