I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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