Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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