I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
