The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
