your room smells of hookers.
And success
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
