You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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