You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
