a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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