so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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