Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You are a genius and a whore.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
