forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize