we're blogging at a bar
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
