One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
