i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
True college students do jello shots in the library
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