I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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