even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize