You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
