Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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