you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
