if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
