I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
