my sisters under your porch take her home
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
