why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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