I will die if light touches me.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Randomize
