I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize