sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
