hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize