i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
