I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
All the doctor said was why
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
