I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
