Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
