6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
