i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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