I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The power of my boobs compel you
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize