im six kinds of drunk right now
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
