We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
