so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
