True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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