If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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