I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
