Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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