How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
