i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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